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I feel like it’s our time. It’s our turn to build the house of our dreams. It’ll be small but ours. I want it all so bad but I can’t shake the remorse of what we must lose to get there. Memories were made here over the years within these flimsy walls. The imperfections seem even more glaringly obvious than usual from the awkward layout to the termite damage to the achingly tight quarters, but this is and has been our retreat. I can’t help but feel the nostalgia creep in and settle in my heart. When we get that approval notice and the permit to build, will I cry tears of joy or tears of sorrow? Probably both. But here we go. Closer to the next chapter of our lives. A new house. A new outlook on life? We will build this place up eventually.
These past few weeks have been full of devastation here in California. Several fires have ravaged entire communities and torn them apart. There are desperate families out there still searching for answers with no roof over their heads and I feel deeply guilty about this too. My first world problems seem stupid and out of context, but they are real to me in this moment. They are real for my family. The long awaited approval and tear-down is another post, but today, I am feeling strangely sad about the coming fate of what lies ahead. May this home stand sturdy and welcoming for a few months more as we wait patiently and decide on the timing and next steps of our future.
-K