I think transitioning into a big kid room of their own is something kids need to be emotionally ready for. Changing a room up is exciting but it also means getting rid of comforts that children have grown accustomed to as a baby or toddler. I found that when we initially moved our children into their own room, asking their opinion in the matter was a huge part of preparing them to take ownership of their domain. If you are like me and have a theme and look in mind, warm their minds up to the idea of what it’s going to look like and ask them to help in making smaller decisions. Offer simple choices and let them decide on a few things. What color sheets they want, or what their favorite things are that will carry over. If their walls are going to be a certain color, let them pick out the color from shades you can live with. If their decor is going to follow a parent-directed theme, let them choose their accent pillows. My kids love choices and I wanted to make sure they felt they had a say in the process of creating their personal space.
Currently at the ages of 5 and 2, my kids share a room and will continue to share a room in the new house. They are getting a black and white room in the proposed plans. They have no say in this. But they will individually have choices in what books and toys they want to keep and what they want their individual accent colors will be.
I think another great offering to ease the transition is to do a few DIY projects together (monitored of course) so they feel they had a part in making something useful specifically for their space. My kids helped to paint pre-existing storage cubbies for their toys and picked fabrics for matching pillow cases I made. Ownership and pride of place is just as important for kids as it is for adults. Make them feel proud of their participation. I want the nighttime rituals and other activities that occur routinely, to become memories specific to their childhood room and the choices they made in making it just so.
I say, start small. Don’t overwhelm. Even the simple choice between two options is still a choice in their minds and you show them that their voice matters; because they do and should matter. In many ways, in this world of over abundant options for everything, even we adults get overwhelmed by decision making. I think it’s important to teach that nothing is necessarily ‘final’ and most importantly, no decision is ever ‘wrong’. There are always ways to make modifications to a decision once made and that’s okay. Steer your littles to take charge in the smallest ways like their rooms and hopefully soon they will voice their opinions in bigger ways. I’m not talking about the child whom declares that, “from today, I denounce vegetables!” but more along the lines of, “I want to drive a garbage truck when I grow up!” I think that’s an important lesson for any child no matter how young. The power to say yes, or no, the power to see that their opinion on things matters greatly not only to the immediate family, but to society at large. I believe the confidence to make good choices comes from empowerment and taking pride in themselves within the things they can control. I want to help my kids make good life choices now so that later down the line, when life gets tough at times, they feel they have the tools to figure things out on their own based on what they believe is important to themselves individually. I have started with what I know I can help them achieve in their own little space in this world – their very own room.
Trying my best to raise empowered children who make good choices in life.
-K